This week has been a week for the pushing of boundaries in all sorts of ways. Its quite an experience to put oneself out there, and try new things. To expose oneself as one is, to be seen and acknowledged. While I am confident and at ease with my cooking, so far, I have only chosen to share my food with my nearest and dearest – my family and friends. And while people have said to me for ages that I should branch out, and begin to cook on a professional level, the idea, frankly, scared me.
When you cook for those you love, you think about them. You imagine what would interest and titillate their senses. You are aware of their likes and dislikes, the food they adore, and what they avoid. And while I have found cooking to be an extraordinarily personal and powerful expression of my creativity, and my soul joy, I also recognise that when I cook for those who I know and hold dear, I am cooking in a safe way. If it all goes bottoms up, we can always order Indian vegetarian food! 😉
Why am I telling you all this? This past Friday, I had dinner at Nathalie’s Gourmet Studio with some very close friends. One of them, GoddessSpouse, started talking to me about baking and providing catering from the recipes I have developed. I nodded in agreement, and told him that I was working my way towards that, albeit slowly. He said, why not start now? He needed a tea break for 12 – 15 people on Tuesday, and he wanted me to do it. Could I? I couldnt think of an excuse, and so I said yes…. well, may be… let me get back to you.
But GoddessSpouse is a smart and clever man. He didnt accept waffling, and just said, OK then, I will see you on Tuesday at 3pm.
I have to say, it scared the bejesus out of me. But in a gooood way. It made me consider my life, look at the choices I have made, and why I made them.
It made me realise that for me, to truly embrace this gift and passion I have, I had to put it out there. My beloved ones, bless them, have always given me such intensely positive feedback. But to share my cooking with those who were not my beloved ones, well that would be a new experience. And as I said, this week seems to be a week of opening myself up to possibility. I had to test myself in the unknown. I had to see how people would react when I shared my passion with them.
It was a tea break, for goodness sake. If I could cook 11 dishes for Thanksgiving in 2 days, for 15 – 18 people, surely I could handle a tea break!
I made a batch of Starry Starry Night cookies, and two small pots of baked artichoke, spinach and parmesan dip (adding a lot more garlic, and some chili to spice it up a bit), served with tortilla chips and sliced carrots and cucumbers. AngelKitten came along to help set up – but also to provide much needed love and support (thank you Kitten). I was nervous, but I found that once it began, once I really settled and took a breath, I found myself.
How was the reaction? Wonderful! The participants ate, and ate, and ate. They loved the food, and they were interested, open and supportive. It was a beautiful experience.
GoddessSpouse turned the process into a learning experience, not only for the participants but for me. It was a small step, but I realised that this was something I could do, with confidence and calmness (eventually), with diplomacy (thanks Ayah!) and with great joy and pride.
Another step towards the life I want for myself. Another experience lived. A further layer of happiness added to the joy of knowing my true self.
Thank you to all of you who pushed my boundaries this week. I appreciate having been able to take that first step in such a safe and supportive space.
delectable 